THE IMP€RIAL COLLAPSE

It is 6 pm 6 minutes 6 seconds. Melancholy dull grey clouds have already acquired the night sky stage. Streets and Motorways although appear customary under the dishonest veil of darkness, but what lies behind this unreal reality is a state of mind skilled to snatch slumber out of eyes, bliss out of lives, and skull hairs out of ever-complaining wives. Proceeding further with anxiety and distress under the draconian figure of triple 6 I allow myself to reveal this devilish state which has clutched Athens underneath it’s lengthier than law hands. I present to you the fresh yet timeworn, the formulated yet prophesised state, the state crushing every other under its gigantuous foot baptized “Speculation the uncertain”, raise your hands for,

Our Majesty-  “Di-prrrrrre-son”(pronounced as Di-pre-shun, and spelled as Depression).

However do not trouble yourself with the wrong notion of making Athens or Greece(for that matter) the prey of our Majesty, for they are under assault of Jove, but our Majesty has attacked more brutally, upon the core of Athens, upon the conscious of Greeks(mind the ‘r’). But given the present state of ‘r’ bothering Greeks, had our Majesty hit their Nation, then their next stop would definitely had been the house of Hades. However deterring myself to involve in solving complex theories of Greek Gods, let me explain the cause of agitation of our Majesty, which induced him to erupt his wrath over Greeks. The ‘r’ minding Greek government had decided to adopt the demon slayer (to slay the Trojan- The Debt Crisis), the equally satanic AM (“Austerity measures”), and by the wish of heavens our Majesty and the demon slayer march together. Austerity means strict severity and harsh rules. A condition when public servant salaries are negotiated to all time low, interest rates are sky rocketed. A condition when young underemployed demonstrating youth coupled with rotten irritated over grown adults demanding bonuses and pension hikes respectively are humiliated and kicked, leaving wet eyes and pants.

Gentle Ladies as well as men, I bring to you the epic insight into the European crisis.

The European Union accepted Croatia as its newest and 27^th member, in the starting of 2012(the devilish year). Granting a six month period to Croatia, it asks them to adopt Euro as their national currency. Noticing the optimistic European Unionists with deep comprehension I find in them a rotting pride, pride blameable to kick Drachma from Greece, and Franc from France, pride which they took over their currency “Euro”. The world all-around, now look at this pride as their foolishness while they perceive it as a shame, for what had troubled them as a budget concern some few years back had ended up in a serious world-wide crisis.

The Eurozone System was framed with 17 partner European nations, who had joined hands for a better financial future. But what had been their most glorious step towards this dream came out to be the cause of its demise. What came out of the magic box was to have a common Currency, and henceforth a common Monetary Policy. They believed that a common currency would ensure stabilisation of economies of member nations, since they would export and import at same rates. There would be no strain of exchange rates and they could proceed to formulate a world Currency, The “Euro” (soon to be called khud-ro). To achieve this they appointed the best Aryan raced, Alexander sired economists who articulated the best of the policies. Lime lights of these policies: no member nation could set its own interest rates nor could anyone print money (as it would devaluate Euro). But the System missed out to set a common fiscal policy(There biggest mistake). There came no barricade and restrictions on, how much was to be expended, taxed, and most important “borrowed”, by member nations.

Just as we have Ashok Gehlot’s Rajasthan and Arjun Munda’s Jharkhand in India the Incredible, even Europe the terrible claims its own jewels. They have Ireland the hairy red dwarf, Portugal the baker, Spain the bull-fighter, Cyprus the peaceful, Italy the Marrrrgarrrreto d pizzah d paaasthah d Rrrroman Empirrruh, and not to pardon the gang boss, land of Gods, Gladiators and ‘r’ bothering Greeks, the Hellenic Republic of Greece. And with cent per cent accuracy the gang boss feasted the draconian limbo dance upon the entire of Europe. The Greek government failed to realize their nonstop wrong decisions, expended more than their capacity to regenerate, and exhausted uncontrollably on wages and pensions. Later did they comprehend, that their fiscal deficit (explained ahead) and debt was increasing further and further, and soon the issue became a serious concern with increasing debts and decreasing Euro’s exchange rate value. Red hairy dwarfs, bakers, peaceful bull-fighters, and paasthah eating Rrrroman Empirrruh, all contributed their tiny kilo-byte equally indispensable efforts(like racing each other in the fiscal deficit figure leaving the 3% of GDP mark set by European Union’s Aryan race economists way behind ), to multiply this debt concern into an all-time currency crisis. (Allow me to spread my knowledge and digest the principles that Fiscal Deficit is the amount of Government expenditures that are left after deducing the total government revenue from it; and debt is the Reshami Karzz engaged from other nations.)

This collaborated generosity of the ever ready courteous member nations finally bore the juicy cauliflower. The glorious, dazzling light, father of many sons, husband of many wives, monarch of the world… the European Debt Crisis(EDC)!

The debt crisis is a tensed condition (prophesised by officially appointed soothsayers around 2009 circa, due to increasing debts across Europe), wherein many European Nations have been unable to repay their debts without a third-party assistance (which is, either the satanic demon-slayer AM who showered his wet blessing over Greece or it is the fresh new upcoming western flick!).

The Eurozone system of 17(recapped of my limitless, 17 runs wicket on roof cricket due to the silly nervous feeling by the slang- satra pe khatra!!) members, had to unanimously conclude on a joint decision for all nations (which isn’t easy), which in critical times becomes a cumbersome and dragged procedure making it an ineffective mechanism to deal with sweet-smelling cauliflowers like EDC. Furthermore the poor banking system of Union (uncertain rates, blurred policies), could not protect the falling banks of ailing European nations. Bankers play the game on reality, not on morality. Realising the weakening of Euro, they stepped back from the land of Conquerors (sell the damnation currency and run, they yelled). As a result the value and respect of Euro fell from a height with such haste that Bankers, and finance ministers started to speculate the very existence of Euro as a World currency. News channels stopped the undesired unwanted tales of “Aaj suniye suraj ki awaaz!”, “Kesse aayega Maha-Vinaash!!!” and “Mil gaye Raam!!!!!”, applying breaks, to telecast the latest, fresh new breaking news with heavy ad-breaks and the by-far The most deadly headline “Euro khattam!!...Ab HEXA hogi duniya ki nayi Mudra!!!! ” ****** Chaurasiya with camera man *****.

Under such heavy bulky grey draconian clouds of finance ministers and nerd cameramen, our Majesty set out to unleash his fury over the Greeks, for they had requested aid from the demon slayer(The rage of our Majesty rationalizes the satanic nature of AM). Greeks had been rejected by the second “third-party assistance”, the fresh new face from west (Brussels, the capital of European Union), titled Bailout, the instant spray (mind the product just provides instant relief, it does not heals), for he was tired of spraying and further spraying would not help at all. European Nations were rocketing in their figures, with budget deficits as follow:

Greek nerds: 13% of GDP;

Bull-Fighters: 11.4% of GDP;

Bakers: 9.4% of GDP.

Such is the unreal reality that persists beyond the trickery mask of customary darkness. These poor fellows are under the combined ire of, our Majesty, demons and the pure Aryan race Alexander sired economists, for their policies prevent these damn-nations to neither lower interest rates! Nor they are allowed to devalue the currency by printing it! This has left Euro as a much weakened currency, which is affecting the entire world. It is damaged and is sinking, strengthening other currencies like US dollar which then toughens against minorities and backwards classes such as INR and YEN, and their effects are felt everywhere, on earth, heavens and in washrooms(early morning).

Now allow me to veil up the curtains and conclude this epic insight of  Aryans, Gehlots, rrrrrs, chaurasiyas with cameramen, and our Majesty, the “Di-prrrrrre-son”,  drafting it finally with three supporting pillars:

Wrong financial policy>>>>Erroneous decisions makers>>>>Band Baaja Baarat

Thank you.

Have a good day!