THE POET'S ANXIETY

Gandhi was often greeted by critics many of whom happened to be fanatics and cranks. However some were thinkers and actors of moral substance. He always proceeded to answer these substantive players in depth and clarity maintaining his composure and liberal temper. Tagore was one such critic who was at the height of his poetic career and reputation. But as said by Gandhi himself, great prestige had brought him great responsibility, a very important one of which had been the Indian message to the world which his poems and their interpretations would carry with them. Owing to this responsibility he became increasingly cautious of the Non-Cooperation Movement, which he felt was anachronously expedited. He feared that the NCM would foster an unreasoning hostility against the foreigner and the foreign rule. That is was a narrow doctrine of negation, despair, separation and exclusiveness.

However legit may the claims made by Dr. Tagore sound to be, they fail to hold the same staunchness after the declaration of Gandhi’s response. At first Gandhi address Tagore’s state of mind as “No Indian can feel anything but pride in the Poet’s exquisite jealousy of India’s honor.” He further explains that NCM is no cause to be ashamed and if it so happens to fail in the end then it would not be the fault of the doctrine but the truth itself. NCM have been anachronously expedited to save India from violence. He says that Non Cooperation is planned to pave the path for real, honorable and voluntary co-operation based on mutual trust and respect. That it is being waged against compulsory cooperation, one-sided combination and armed imposition of modern methods of exploitation masquerading under the name of civilization.

He even goes a step further to says that if the poet’s concern is about students who are being called to volunteer by leaving schools and colleges, then his response is that he had never been able to make a fetish out of literary training. He says that literary training adds not an inch to one’s moral height and character building. In fact that government schools have rendered us helpless and Godless. They have filled us with discontent and despondency. They have made us, what we were supposed to become, clerks and interpreters! He said that the moment it was realized that the system of government was wholly or mainly evil, it had become sinful to associate our children with it. The youth is the last hope. 

He said that 

“If India is ever to attain the swaraj of Poet’s dream, then it would certainly be delivered by the Non-Cooperation and Non-Violence”

-Yognik

from Makers of Modern India~Ramchandra Guha

UP CLOSE AND PDA

Public is anything that is open to all, in its nature, availability and presence. Display is the act of non-proscribing un-/intentional presentation. Affection is mental propensity to get emotionally and mentally attracted to a person (our domain of interest) which might conclude in natural instigations to get hold of that person.

Here the domain of the discussion is relevant only up till the college boundaries.

As per the above given definition, acts such as faux hugging may/may not motivated by misguided thoughts of making a slight physical contact with another person, kissing in isolated and disjunct campus areas and holding hands with perfervid facial expressions lie in the ambits of Public Display of Affection. The few aforementioned acts are not an act of imagination envisaged by me but are regular revelations exposed by batch mates.

Love may but have a thousand definitions, but it can simply be stated as a special inexplicable and hard to comprehend feel good emotion instigated by attraction in a person for someone. I preserves high respect and appreciate couples engaged with this feeling in a healthy relationship. But Love through ages has been misconstrued by a lot of psychological conditions and have led to further bifurcation of the above mentioned definition of affection as follows.

As per remaining under my ambits of college boundaries, affection in college can essentially take two forms:

    1)      When the couple is strongly involved with each other through mental and emotional relationship.

    2)      When the couple is merely hit by infatuation for each other.

Let’s consider both the cases and oversee the dynamics involved when their practice goes public. By public, I am not merely talking about the display in front of a group of people, but also at a disjunct and isolated public place which in fact may not have any observers around at all. What is more important to realize are the seedy factors that instigates the two persons involved for a carefree public performance. The gist lies in the fact that it is important to understand both the aforementioned cases from the perspective of the couple i.e. the subjects involved. Had the concern been from the point of view of observers, I would have stated a lot of lame arguments against PDA like “it is disturbing for the society”, “I don’t have a partner, it depresses me” or “they’ll be chased by couple hunters!” etc.

Let’s first start with the second case. Infatuation is but the state of being carried away by unreasoned passion or love, usually inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone[i]. Infatuation can very well happen from both the sides and should not to be confused with one sided unrequited love. Such subjects will be motivated by intense feelings of limerence, which essentially means to await a reciprocation of their feelings from the other side as well. They will lack the requisite confidence to comprehend each other’s cognitive behavior and maturity to understand each other’s feelings involved in a healthy relationship. This will compel them to reassert their relationship again and again. Physical contact will prove to be a cheap and affordable tool while doing it openly in public domain will misguide them as being more natural and raw in their relationship. While this behavior is mere innocence and fails to standby as the structure of love it ends up being a short lived relationship and useless diversions of mental energies.

The first case is rather more serious. In this case the subjects are attached with strong mental and emotional links and as a premise, also understand each other well. This is the exemplified structure capable of growing into unconditioned mature love, but however blatant it may sound, with a very thin margin separating it from becoming into an obsession; and the carefree public reciprocation validates it of being transformed into an obsession. A mature couple will appreciate their own special secret moments of surrender to each other rather than fulfilling the urge to possess each other in open. They will wait for the right time with a broad minded vision of the future. While carefree public reciprocation may sound perfectly natural notwithstanding stereotypical societal bigots, the catch lies in the fact that such subjects usually legitimate themselves by saying that “they care about each other, not the world”. Well in fact this rosy statement is essentially the first cycle of obsessive love wheel as described by Dr. John D. Moore in his book, Confusing Love with Obsession. The Obsessive love wheel has four phases:

    1)  Attraction phase: Which may include instant attraction to romantic interest, focusing on physical characteristics while ignoring personality differences, etc.

     2)      Anxious Phase: Needs of constant contact with the loved one, feeling like the other partner shouldn’t meet or speak with others, etc.

    3)   Obsessive Phase: Tunnel vision and constant attention of the loved, Neurotic behaviors like rapid phone calls to the loved one, accusations of infidelity due to over-anxiety, etc. 

   4)      Destructive Phase: Overwhelming feelings of depression, loss of self-esteem, self–blame, self-hatred due to collapse of relationship,  anger to seek revenge against the loved one who broke the relationship, use of drugs, alcohol for healing of emotional pain etc.

I am not stating that the above phases are a product of PDA. I merely state that PDA defines a false definition of sustainable love; or whatever it defines, fails mostly and fundamentally to get the warrant of a deep and sensible affection. I personally know many couples who one’s were laughing, enjoying and riding the life with unwarranted carefree attitude and have ended up being through these phases. Now they admit their thence innocence of acknowledging the carefree mislead courage as unparalleled love and are much matured today. Having witnessed many friends who have somehow successfully passed all the four phases, I but pray to witness no more. While love is a beautiful feeling it is equally beautiful to find your soul mate albeit not always within the same batch.

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[i] Wikipedia